my fragile body
by the love we have
Summary: bella swan has blood cancer, she didn't tell a soul about it, she don't want the treatment because she don't see a risen to take it and she goes to live with her father to spend time with him before she die , she meet someone that makes her want to live , he give her a risen to live , will she make it?. rated M just to be safe R
1. prologue

**hay gays so i am new here , and this is my first story i hope you like it , please review its important to me **

_**(isabella)**_

I have never given much thought to how I will die , but from that day .. that damned day when I found out that I was … that I am .. _sick _. yup .. sick I may say .. there is not a single day hasn't past that I don't think about it , how I will die , and oh .. my mother how would she cope with my death ! she doesn't deserve this she is to kind to have a broken heart ahhhh , but the most scaring thing that I am not afraid of it , that's why I was moving out .. will , let me tell you about everything . I am _Isabella swan _and I have leukemia .. of those of you who doesn't know what that is .. well , it's type of a cancer .. " blood cancer " ,it characterized by an abnormal increase of immature white blood cells called "blasts". Leukemia is a broad term covering a spectrum of diseases. In turn, it is part of the even broader group of diseases affecting the blood, bone marrow etc.. that was a year a go I haven't told a soul about it , even my mother , I know that she can feel the deference in my situation a lot , she talked to me a lot about it , so I triad to pot a happy face , and pretend to go out with friends just to make her relive a bit , not that I go with my " friends" if you can call them that , so I go to the beach and .. think about life .. and that awful day ..

**_(A flash back )_**

_I was waiting for the nurse to call me in .. I was in the waiting room taping my foot impatiently on the floor underneath me wail I hear a baby crying so loud I thought I would scream right now .. ahhhh I was her just to check up my sore knee , it became a bit uncomfortable to walk on .. but to my greatest relive the nurse has called my name finally for the x-ray … I set at the chair waiting for the doctor to finish his work with something he had in his hand and thin he walk slowly to his office and set down with a little V between his brows .. I felt unease a bit .. why is __he frowning ?.. he was quite for a moment and after that he rose his ayes and I felt this weird unease feeling at the end of my stomach … he open his mouth " miss swan I am afraid that there is some bad news for you " he said with a bit of pity on his voice ….._

**_(end of flash back)_**

three years .. he told me that if I hadn't start to tack the treatment right away I would have 3 years to live of course he didn't tell me right away , after I insisted that he told me every thing he know .. he did .. at first I was really going to have a tray on this but when I sow that my health insurance doesn't cover but six sessions of the treatment I drop it because the sessions are expensive a bit and the doctor said that I would need many sessions so I didn't want my mother to spend very high price on something uncertain and the success rate was 10% very low and .. and .. at the end I will die , no I won't be selfish and make my mother broke. yes, I would die even if she paid for all the sessions i know it was too late for that , so I lied to hem to dr. macron and told hem that I would transfer my treatment and papers to another hospital in the city that we would move in to. I required from hem to keep this secret between the tow of us and no one else , he agreed unhappily on this . I know that it sound crazy that I don't want the treatment that would save my life , but really six sessions wont do anything to me , I am dealing with my upcoming death calmly , (some time it freaked me out) hoping that there would be good things for me in the other world the other side , better ….. , so I decided that I would spend the time I had left with the ones I love , I have to spend time with my dad the one that I didn't see from a very long time maybe this will bond us a bit , get to know my father , and also I would try to put some distance between me and my mother because I didn't want her be hurt very much when I .. , so yeah I would push her away for her own good .. , I noticed that it got very dark out side so I get up and walk to my home or .. the home I would leave in a short couple of days .. damn its going to be hard to say goodbye to every thing here specially my dear mother .. I would miss her so much .

**so what do you think , i hope you tell me what you think honestly .. thanks for reading and sorry for any errors .**


	2. our pain

_**hi, gays this is the new chapter .. hope you enjoy **_

_**i forgot to put a disclaimer the last time so this is it **_

_**disclaimer: i do not own twilight, or any characters .**_

_**(Edward)**_

I was writing in my dairies as I always do in my amazing meadow surrounded by the wild flowers and small bushes , I know that there isn't something interesting in my .. Ahh "almost life" , the pages were boring "of course to me " , but to a humane , it will be like he was reading a horror story with the description I was writing , but today I wanted to try my skill at drawing what I was seeing in front of my eyes , it really was worth drawing .

And also there wasn't anything beautiful in my life that I can keep my attention at.

I tried to take every single detail of the flower's , trees , and a small bird standing on a tree branch .

It was a really breathtaking site .

and I wished there is someone I could share this fantastic view with .

I was deep in my own world that I didn't noticed Alice approaching.

_Edward . _she said in her mind .

I raised my head up from the journal in my hands to meet with my sister's golden eye's.

" ah, what do you want Alice ? , I believe that I said not to disturb me when ever I was in the meadow ? " I said annoyed by her interruption .

" yeah , yeah whatever !" she said with her bell like voice , rolling her eyes .

I looked in to her thought's to see what bring her up her , but she was blocking me .

I frowned, what was there to block, we never tried to hide anything from each other, unless it was privet.

I waited for her to speak but she just stared at me with a slit hint of worry in her childlike face.

" what, Alice ?, what are you hiding from me ? what's wrong ?" I said irritated by whatever she is hiding from me .

" oh , I just had a vision .. , well not a hole vision , but a few glimpses of you , by the way why does your future became a blur in my vision's ?" she asked in a furious voice narrowing her eyes at me.

I frowned.

"are you planning to leave ?" she continued crossing her eye brows , irritated.

" No , of course not , I didn't even think about it !" I said confused .

we said nothing , staring at each others eye's in wonder, she showed me her visions in her maid , and I frowned.

It wasn't clear, it was a few blurring pictures.

I didn't understand it really, I sow a hand on wait sheet so pale that it almost as pale as ours, and a sweating forehead and the eye brows were frowning witch caused to form tight line's in his/her forehead .

That is surely not mine.

I sighed " Alice what's that supposed to mean ? I don't think that vision includes me !". I know that sweaty forehead is not mine . it's surely for a human , but why is this human is in Alice's vision's ? , what's so special about that human to came in Alice's vision's ?.

" I know , but look .." she showed me anther glance and that was for my face it looked paler then it already is and there was so much pain in it that it made me wince ,

Alice frowned at the site of me in pain, but I lowered my eyes slowly ; trying to figure this out.

After a long silent Alice spoken " well , this is Amm .. uncertain , so don't get all jumpy , it's probably nothing , I just came here to see if you have any intention of leaving so…yeah " her voice was uncertain, she was unconvinced of her own word's! , I didn't answer her , so she turn away to leave but stopped and turn back " aren't you coming ? " she asked me with a calm steady voice .

My head raise " Amm yeah , I'll be right behind you " I said a bit dreamily .

She nodded and left.

I stayed for a few moments thinking about those glimpses Alice had showed me moments ago, and then got up when I sow the down breaking. Well, I guess it's almost time for the hell .. I mean high school to start.

When I arrived home Alice had a strange smile on her face , when I sow what's in her mind I rolled my eye's , she was thinking of the arrival of the new girl Bella swan the daughter of Charlie swan the chief of police , every one in this town was talking about her for week's , waiting for her arrival , ahh people in this town .

I got to my room and played my calming CD " clair de lune " , it always relax me .

When the time is up , I got dressed in a pair of jeans and a brown T- shirt , I always liked the dark colors brown, black , blue, green , but Alice always trying to put me in a .. more "happy" colors as she say, orang , yellow, red she even tried to stuck my closet with pink T- shirt's , ahh that girl will drive me crazy .

When every one finished they got in my Volvo and we speed out to the school.

I parked in my usual spot and cut the engine , got out alone with my siblings and every one got to there own classes , my first class was governess with Mrs. Jonson , as always I paid no attention to what he says , and this routine continued until it was time for lunch , I put all the notebooks in the locker and headed to the lunch room , my siblings were already there at our usual table , I bought my food – to pretend – and sit with them .

The tow couples were by them selves talking , hugging ,and kissing , and I just felt like an outsider , I just didn't fit between the three perfect couples , although I felt disgusted from there thoughts all full of lust to each other , but I felt a little sadness and jealousy that I couldn't have that . I have always convinced my self that I don't need someone to complete me, it's kind of true, I get lonely some time but every one does, right?.

_Oh, Edward damn, his so hot ,that T-shirt is so tight I want to rip it of , ohh that muscular chest, hmmm, I wonder what his lips taste like hmm . _I flinched from the hideous thoughts of Jessica Stanley , it was disgusting .

" Edward, he's totally gorgeous, but don't waist your time , apparently non of the girls here are good enough for him " _ahh those perfect lips , perfect hair , perfect face damn he don't know what's missing him , what's there isn't to like in me , I have big enough boob's and my butt is great , my hair is natural and I have amazing blue eyes … _wow so much confides in her self , and that showed how shallow she is . all she cares about is her looks and all those superficial stuff .

I raised my head to see who is she talking to because I didn't see the other person's reaction, or hear it's thoughts , and my eye's met with a pair of the most beautiful deep chocolate brown eye's I ever seen in my existent , they were so deep with secrets , I was so frantic with them that I even forgot to read her mind , so I looked inside of her brine but I was hit with total blackness , I tried again but with no use .

I frown, what the hell ? .

This only took a second to just look into her eye's , the strange girl looked down with a lovely blush into her cheeks , I couldn't help the slit smile that had creep to my face , it was lovely, I noticed that she have a long ,chocolate, brown ,hair covering her heart shape face , she was biting her lower lip nervously and she was apparently embarrassed that I had catch her staring at me .

_Isabella swan_. Bella, she corrected everyone who called her by that name .

She raised her head up and I sow her face completely, she was pretty in general but, I can see the deep black circles under her eye's , like she hadn't slept in weeks , and her pale skin almost as pale as ours, and so delicate that you can almost see through her fragile skin.

I frowned.

I can sense from here that she was more fragile then the other humans , it maid me so angry , because she could be hurt so easily .

Huh, stupid.

She didn't look healthy seeing the way her body looked, she was so thin .

I had a strange feeling that I waned to protect this fragile human girl , I had to .

It was very strong , I couldn't understand it , perhaps it's the strong for the weak.

I am the one who she need's protection from. I can feel the sadness that came over me suddenly, but I washed it away quickly.

I was dragged from my thoughts by Emmett's mocking laugh .

" looking ill brother , another nasty thought from Jessica Stanley "he said raising his eyebrows laughing.

I frowned.

I was swimming in my "peaceful" thoughts, why in hell he reminded me of that crap now.

I grimed.

That only maid him laugh harder.

_What's wrong , Edward?._ Jasper said in his mind with a worry tone.

Of course he noticed the change in my emotions.

I decided that I wouldn't tell them about my strange emotions for this human girl.

"I can't read the new girl's mind, I see nothing , all I see is blackness in her mind" I said with a gloomy voice and furrowed my eyebrows.

They all stared at me with there mouth's open in disbelieve , like I was talking a language they don't know.

There expressions were hilarious.

"holy crap, our Edward has lost his power!" he said laughing .

" no, I didn't I sill read your 5 year old brine, Emmett !" I said with a calm mocking voice.

He stopped laughing immediately and stared at me with a blank expression.

"w-wait , are you serious?" jasper asked with the same shocked expression on his face.

I didn't say anything, I just stared at etch one of them with a frown in my face .

I dragged my eye's back to the girl, to try again, when I sow her staring at our direction with a slit sad angelic smile in her face.

I frowned.

Why she is smiling ?

Like she sow something emotional in us !

She blushed a deep shadow of red and turned her head to her friends.

I stared at her face for a long time until Rosalie nudged me

" aren't you coming ?" she said with a irritated tone.

I woke from my thoughts and I sow the cafeteria almost empty , the bell must ring and I didn't notice it.

I grabbed my back pack and speed up to my next class , biology.

I interred the room and take my usual seat by the window.

It was only a few second's until the new girl came in, oh good she is in my class , maybe I could read her mind if she was more closer to me .

But that thought had instantly vanished when her scent strike me like a fair ball in my face.

That scent, that heavenly scent, was so sweet , so delicate, so amazing .

I have never smelt anything like this ever in my existent.

I felt the venom filling my mouth, and the burn in my throat .

I grabbed the side of the table tightly to hold me in my place.

No, I won't let that heavenly delicate scent to ruin the little peace I had in this half –life of mine.

She talked to Mrs. Banner and handed him the slip , took her book out of the counter and headed to her seat , which is next to me.

Crap.

Why did she of all the student's in the class has to came and sit next to me!.

She stumbled her way to my table, dropped her book and took the only available seat in the room, next to me.

She turned her head to me and she was about to say something but when she sow my hostile expression, she closed her mouth and turn her head back blushing.

That is very helping!

I closed my eyes and hold my breath, just waiting for this hour to end quickly.

But, I can hear her heart beating, the blood rushing in her veins, every breath she took.

I open my eyes slowly, and looked at her, she was hiding behind her hair, pretending to listen to the class.

But I know that she wasn't, because every now and then she sneaked a glance at my direction from the corner of her eye.

I looked at her shoulder and sow a big bruise on top of it, I forgot my thirsted for a second.

I frowned.

Has she been hurt?

That possibility has maid me furious, angry.

What happened to her?

I wanted to ask her.

My curiosity had taken the best out of me.

Her dark mind was a huge secret to me, and I would find out that secret, somehow.

I did not realize that I was staring at her for to long until the bell ring.

I wanted to talk to her, but when I moved closer to her side I smelled her sweet scent again, burning my throat.

I run away from her in human speed, trying not to run too fast for a human.

I got in my car quickly, and took a deep breath.

Finally, the air was clean and I could think straight.

Ahh, thank god that I didn't do anything stupid, or else I would've exposed my family and my self, and also I would hurt an innocent child.

It's not her fault that a monster like me exist.

I would leave.

Yeah, that's the best solution for everybody.

The girl will leave after tow years, and I'll came back then.

That thought hurt me badly , caused an aching in my chest.

I convinced my self that I would stay away from her until she leave's.

I got out of the car, and walked to the edge of the forest and run at vampire speed.

I didn't know where to go!

Shell I go to my house and say good bay to Esme ?

No, I can't face my mother, she would want to convince me to stay.

I am sure that Alice would tell them what happened, I just can't stay here, I am afraid that I would run back to her, snap her neck and drained her body.

I stopped in my track when I remembered her scent. so sweet, so mouth-watering , it was almost too precious to drink.

It was mix of lavender, freesia, jasmine, and … some other scents.

Damn it, I should run away from that evil scent.

I run to my father in his hospital to take his car, because I won't be able to go home and take one.

I explain what happened to my father and he told me to do what I can to make this right.

I took his car and speed off to where ever I would go.

_**(Isabella)**_

What's wrong with that gay?

What did I do to make him hate me that much?. I thought while I was headed to the parking lot.

Those black eye's were full of pain, rage and, suffering and …something else I couldn't specify.

Was it because of me?

He was happy and laughing at lunch, what made him so furious and hostile all of the sudden?.

I got in my car with tears in my eyes and headed home.

I got home in 5 minute's , I went up stirs and continued unpacking my luggage

While I was unpacking I never forget about Edward Cullen, I felt something when I stared at his golden eye's at the cafeteria earlier, I can't describe it really, I felt… safe ?. I sighed

When I finished unpacking, I headed down stirs to make some lunch, but I didn't find anything in the house to eat.

I sow I jar "FOOD MONEY" it say's, I took a few dollars and went to the market to bay a few things to cook.

I drove to the local market, it was mini market, very small.

When I got out of my truck, I sow his sister's, Alice and Rosalie getting out of a black car it looked like a Mercedes, they sow me standing next to my car, Rosalie narrowed her eye's to me , but Alice gave me a slit smile.

I tried my best to smile back to her but I failed.

I got in the market and grabbed a basket, and started to shop, I had wrote everything I need in a paper, so I wouldn't forgot anything.

I was pecking up a corn can out of the shelf when the alarm in my watch ring.

Damn it!

I took my pills out from my bag and took tow of them, and drink my water right away.

"Hi, there" I heard a bell-like voice behind me, so I turn around and sow the short little pixie smiling gently to me.

I was panicking, I was afraid that she sow the pills , oh my god , if she sow them she would tell everyone.

I just stared at her with wide eyes and nothing came out of my mouth.

" are you … alright?, you look like you've seen a ghost or something!" she had a worry smile on her face .

talk, you idiot !

" Amm … y-yeah I'm totally fine " I stuttered nervously, I turned around to hide my pills in the bag quickly.

" I 'm Alice Cullen, you must be Bella swan " she raised her hand so she can shake mine.

"Amm , yes " I shacked her ice cold hand but I didn't flinch I was used to being cold all the time even in phoenix , it was just the stupid cancer, exhausting me to no end , no matter how many hours I slept I sill wake up tired .

I tried to smile a bit but it turned into a grimace, a sad one.

"so amm… liking forks?" she asked with amused voice.

She must be kidding!

I raised my eyebrow in disbelieve.

She laughed at my expression.

"you must really hate it in here!" she said, still laughing

" you have no idea!" I said with disgusted grimace at my face.

She laughed again.

" Amm … I really should be going now, so Amm … it was nice to meet you Alice! " I said with a finally small smile on my face.

" it's nice to meet you too bella , see you later" she said strolling away from me.

I went to the cashier to pay for my grocery and then I headed straight to my home.

I put my grocery in the kitchen and begin to cook, I kept it simple , a mash potato and steak .

When Charlie arrived, he asked me about my day and I told him it was fain , he thanked me for making dinner and we ate in silent , this is what I love about Charlie , he is just so quite and he doesn't hover.

And also that's why I moved in with him, he won't ask why I puck all the time , or get sick all the time, or go through my stuff like mom ones did.

It will go smoothly, easy, I hope.

I cleaned the dish's and wished a goodnight for Charlie and headed to my room, I took my favorite pajama, my bag , and went to the only bathroom in this floor , I took a long hot shower enjoying the scent of my strawberry shampoo, it was really relaxing and comfortable.

I got out of the shower and brush my teeth and hair carefully, that's when I sow in the mirror my naked bruised body, the bruises were covering most of my body, if anyone sow it he would think that I has been beating all my life or raped or something.

When it's actually it has been caused by this damn cancer.

But, the good thing is, that these bruises disappear for some time, but quickly came back.

I looked in the mirror one last time thinking about the future, what would of happen if I lived a few more years ,what do I want? , I know I didn't want much, I just wanted to be happy before I… die, was that too much to ask?.

I didn't realize that I was crying until the tears dropped on my hand that I was holding tightly to my chest, pressing very tightly so that maybe the pain in my dying heart would disappear.

But it didn't.

I wiped my tears away with a sigh and get dressed, collecting my things and run to my room.

I laid in my bed, thinking of today , and Edward Cullen , the mysterious boy who had apparently hated me immediately, I fell a sleep thinking about his flawless face.

I dreamed of him laughing with his siblings, he was so happy, and I couldn't help the smile that had came to my face , he was so carefree , it was amazing and … so beautiful that I felt my heart pounding in my chest , truly blissful.

_**so this is it , hope you liked it , if anything is wrong just tell me , thanks for reading ;)**_

_**XOXO**_


	3. i can't stay away from you

**hello, this is the third chapter, although i didn't have any reviews to the older chapter but.. i guess i am attached to my story.**

**please review this one, i hope you like it, i put my sweat and blood in this one so please.**

**ok this chapter has a new things that you would be surprised with, it's about Bella**

**this chapter is from bella's and edward's POV. ENJOY.**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY CHARACTER IN IT.**

* * *

**BELLA**

3 days have been past and there was no sign of him ! Edward.

Suddenly my whole life and thoughts were all around him , I wanted to see him .

I felt like if I saw him again just for a few seconds I would be able to ease this ache in my chest , to ease this miserable dying heart of mine .

Some time I think it was meant for me to have a miserable life , die miserable with a broken heart.

I was over sick these days , I throw up more then usual , nothing stay's in my stomach for one hour. I was as pale as a ghost because all of this .

So I skipped school for the 2 days because I didn't want anyone to notice how sick I was , but I couldn't help but wonder if Edward have came back or not , I felt a strong temptation to go to school and check on him !

I know if I saw him again I would be better, I would sleep and eat better , I didn't know why all of the sudden I felt this strong need to see him. that if I do , every thing would be ok. Ever since I felt his gaze on me I just … wanted to be closer to him , to touch him , and when he looked at me with that hostile expression on his face I felt deeply hurt and disappointment , of course. Why would he even want to look at me , there isn't anything in me that deserve to look at !

When you look at me you can see that I have no beauty at all , I wasn't ugly but I was simply … plain.

I got up from the bathroom floor and brash my teeth and washed my face and headed to my room but I was stopped by Charlie's concern voice calling me

" Bella!" he called from down the hall .

I turn my head to meet with his concern face .

" bells , are you ok? Do you want to see a doctor? You kind of been this way for tow days now !" he asked with a concern and caring tone .

I blushed " no dad I am fine really, it's probably the change of the weather and staff you know , just don't worry about it ok" I said with a shy smile on my face.

I felt bad that I was lying to my father but… I cant just tell him. I really hope that this sickness will fad away quickly before he become suspicious and force me to go to the doctor .

I was headed to my room to rest but I heard the door bell ring !

It must be one of Charlie's friend's !

I went to my room and I was about to lie down on my bed !

"BELLA!" Charlie called my name from down stirs.

I sighed but I went down stirs to see what he wants.

I saw him laughing with someone behind the door that I couldn't see .

I went to his side lazily to see who's at the door !

I was totally shocked when I saw the person at the door .

ALICE CULLEN!.

What is she doing here?

"hi bella , how are you?, I hope you are feeling better ?" she greeted me with her bell like voice , I didn't miss that she was looking at my face and body carefully searching for something!

I blinked a few times surprised " amm, I … fine .. i'm .. better , th-thank you !" I stuttered with a low voice still in shock with her presents, I am pretty sure my mouth was wide open with shock.

She smiled softly but also with concern in her eyes " that's good ,… amm , I brought your home work with me for the last 2 days you were absent at , it's from all of your teacher's , so .. amm here it is " she raised a pile of papers wrapped very nicely and handed it to me .

I was really shocked now and confused, why would she even do that for me ?

No one ever cared about me like that before , they don't notice me enough to care !

I blushed then took it slowly from her " amm , wow, … thanks so much I … " I said but she cut me of " no need Bella , it was my pleasure really " she said with a big smile on her face showing all of her bright white teeth .

I blushed deep red at her kindness and tried to smile but I failed miserly.

And then The air around us full with uncomfortable silent and I didn't know what to say,

Shell I ask her about Edward and his absents, did he came back ? or he will never come back ? I felt a hole forming in my chest when that thought crossed my mind , why would he even want to come back to this small town when he could go to any big city he wants probably NY or where ever he could go .

I felt a frown forming on my face , a deep one.

"Bella ?" Alice called with worry in her bell like voice .

my head snapped in her direction and stared at her for a long moment I suddenly remembered that I didn't invite her in , God bella can you be any more rude ?

" amm , do you want to came in Alice ?" I asked politely with a small smile on my face.

She hesitated for a second " Amm I would love to but I got to go now so … maybe another time !" she said with a big smile on her face like she was looking foreword to this another time .

I smiled " ah , ok , thanks for the home work. that was nice of you Alice !" I thanked her sincerely and smiled , she was really nice unlike her brother .

" no need bella , that was my pleasure !" she said with a polite smile

" I hope you get well bella , see you tomorrow " she said backing out of my house , how did she know that I was going to school tomorrow ? I didn't tell her ? .

she stopped walking and then stiffen completely " amm your coming tomorrow right ?" she asked suspiciously .

" Amm yeah I guess , I cant skip school any longer so … yeah I'll see you tomorrow " I said still confused about how she know about it.

She smiled a huge smile and then strolled to her car , she got in and weave good bye to me and speed out of the streets .

I blinked a few times at her speed , she will have an accident with the way she is driving .

I closed my door and then walked to my room to do my home work , there was a lot to do and with my trembling hands it would take a long time to do it.

I wish that my power can do something about this , when I first know about my illness I thought that my power would help a bit but I was wrong I was just human with a powerful shield , I always wondered what's the use of this powerful shield , I mean it's a physical shield , I test it a few times but it always make me tiered and I usually stay in bad for tow days or so .

I still remember the day I found out about this power I have , I was hiking in the woods tow years a go when I saw a bear walking in my direction , I panicked I didn't know what to do , but I had a few things I know about a situation like this , I stayed still waiting for him to go away but he didn't , he kept walking to me and with every step he took, I prayed that he would just go pass me , I wish I brought honey with me, to distract him.

But while he was getting closer to me he suddenly stopped just a few feet away from me and growled loudly, he tried to move foreword to me but there was something stopping him , I didn't know what it is because I didn't see anything that was stopping him from coming to me but I was thankful to whatever it is that was stopping him from eating me !

I stepped away from the bear but he stepped foreword to me , WHAT!

I thought there was something blocking him , what happened ?

He suddenly ran to my direction with a loud growl and raised his form until he was standing on his feet , his form looked huge and scary .

I fill on my butt and screamed out loud for help , but there was no answer .

I screamed and screamed but with no use , that only made the bear angrier .

I put my hands in front of my face praying to god that some miracle would happen .

I was waiting for his attack but nothing happened so I moved my hands to see if my prayers have come true , when I opened my eyes I didn't see the bear in front of me, I swept my eyes around to look for it , I was shocked when I saw it near a broking tree, passed out , I ran out of the forest as fast as my body can handle and to my house .

I didn't tell my mother about what happened, because she would freak out and make a big deal out of it .

So I thought about it and I come up with that I have did this but I wasn't really sure so I practiced a lot on the new strange power that I have and of course I filled a lot but at the end I managed to do it without flaws, but also all these practices made me very tired that I usually pass out for several minutes , I also did some research to find out more about this shield but it wasn't helping so I let it go and practiced more and more, I found out that I can spread my shield on my whole body to give me a physical power and super speed , that was amazing and cool at first but after I used my shield too much I started to get sick and pass out a lot , and my mother started to notice as well , so I stopped practicing because I really don't need this shield around her, unless I was in real danger.

…..

after I finished my home work I took a shower and lie down on my bed enjoying the feeling of my warm and comfortable sheets and slept peacefully .

**EDWARD**

I was lying on the snow staring at the moon but not really seeing it because there was a face blocking it , a beautiful human face , her big brown eyes was staring at me in wonder like the last time she looked at me with that expression in biology class.

_Why do you have to be the one who's smell is so delicious ? _I asked that beautiful face with a sigh, she doesn't deserve this , I mean no one does .

I know how pure she is, I know that just by looking at her eyes . that beautiful brown pools , it's like there was magic in them covered by a shadow of sadness , I've seen a lot of brown eyes but there was no … charm in them , beauty. But her eyes were … just breathtaking, I could drown in them completely, forgetting all about the world and the fact that I was a soulless monster for mere seconds.

How did the thought of killing her had crossed my mind when I was with her ? how could I kill something so pure ?.

I felt very disgusted by myself , disgusted by the monster that ruled me.

We were created just to kill. that's it , nothing else .

We were damned to this life to suffer for the sins we made

But to be punished with taking a soul, so pure, so unique like hers … that was the most feral, and cruelest punishment I'll ever get.

I stared at the delicate face in wonder, like she had the answers to all of this.

Her deep chocolate eyes stared back with exaptation, longing for something.

I was just about to reach out and stroke her check when I heard Tanya's wild fantasies.

I groaned.

She really didn't understand that I didn't have any kind of interest in her , because she keep coming back all the time.

She could have any guy she want's, why me?

Although I told her that I don't want her, politely of course. But she just doesn't understand.

_Edward? _She thought.

I grimace.

_Oh , there you are. Where were you? I looked every where , but you were gone so.. _she thought with a smile on her face.

_Hiding._ I wanted to tell her, but that was not very gentlemanly of me. So I smiled softly, and lied my back on one of the big rocks and sighed.

She set next to me and smiled brightly.

" sorry Tanya but I wanted some time alone you know " I said gently , praying that she would understand that I am not in the mode for some talk and especially not with her.

" Oh, so, Edward. We were planning that we would spend some time with you at forks. You know , catch up and staff!" she said with a seductive voice that I didn't find seductive at all.

WHAT! WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY ?.

She have asked her coven to go or shell I say 'ordered them' is the right word , claiming that she wanted to spend some time with the family and catch up with them, but in truth she wanted to spend time with me and convenes me to be with her. She tried to hide her thoughts from me but she often slips.

I pretended that I didn't hear her slip " oh, Esme would love that , and you know that you're always welcome in our home Tanya " I said trying to be as cheerful as possible. But she took that as a sign that I really wanted her to come and live with me, but in truth I didn't.

Her thoughts were torturing me all along and I really didn't need this.

" that's great Edward , we should tell Esme about it and get ready " she clapped with her hands like the way Alice does when she is exited about something.

_See, he want's me, I know he do . _She thought eagerly.

I sighed at her stubbornness, but let it go.

She turned her head to kiss my check but she was too close to the edge of my mouth, I didn't want to encourage her any further so I turned my head away from her.

I didn't want her to kiss me, and I know that she would do it if I hadn't turn my head away from her.

She whimpered badly and then got up sharply and run away.

I sighed, I didn't want to hurt her feelings but she just wouldn't get that I don't like her that way.

I stared at the beautiful face again and smiled warmly, already forgetting about my irritation with Tanya.

I was very curious about this girl , her thoughts were a big mystery to me , and I have to find out what is she thinking about.

I decided I would come back to my family and face the temptation of her blood, after all, I can't run away all my life from my problems, I have to deal with it.

So I got up on my feet and run to home as fast as my vampire speed allowed, anxious to see her again.

I parked my Volvo in the school parking lot, cut the engine and took a couple of deep breaths and waited a bit in my car until the bell ring, then I got out searching for her truck. But she wasn't there, I stared at Alice for some answers , but she just smiled

_She'll be here Edward , she's just running late today._ She thought with a gentle smile on her face.

Why? is she alright ? did she get hurt while I wasn't around ?. I was panicking and I clenched my fists really tight to prevent me from doing something stupid in front of all these preying eyes in the parking lot.

_Hhhh , relax Edward she is totally fine, but she was a bit under the weather lately so she didn't come to school the last tow days , that's it, calm down Edward you will make a scene._

But I didn't calm down. I have to see her with my own eyes to believe.

But like she heard me, She suddenly appeared at the parking lot with her rusty truck and parked at a far spot from me.

I calmed down instantly when I saw that she was really fine, but I was a bit annoyed that she didn't notice me standing here.

She was paler then usual, if that even possible and slightly thinner then the last time I saw her, but she was still as beautiful.

I was lost in my own thought's that I didn't notice Alice talking to me.

_Edward we're going to be late for class, let's go._

She dragged me by my arm to my class because I was still staring at the girl, looking for changes in her.

Suddenly I felt excited to talk to her at biology, ahh that is after a few hours from now , that's too long.

I frowned at that.

I got to my first class anxious a bit.

What would I do when I see her?. I was worried that her smell would be too attempting to me, that I would hurt her, I couldn't help the pain that overcome me suddenly. I couldn't bear the thought of hurting her. That I am the one who would end her life and take her beautiful, pure soul!. I couldn't bear it.

But Alice had assured me that there is nothing to be worried about, and I believed her.

But still, I can't be sure, Alice knows that the mind is tricky and the decisions changes quickly.

It was time for lunch now and I couldn't be more anxious, she was just few feet away from me. Dear lord, help me!

We set at our usual table and tried to look normal … or at least human.

I was really anxious now, but suddenly I felt calm and ease, I looked at jasper grateful and smiled softly.

He raised his eyebrow. _what's wrong Edward?. Everything is going to be fine. We are all here for you._

I shock my head slightly but didn't answer him.

I took a couple of deep breaths and hold it in my lungs just in cease.

Suddenly she walked – or rather tripped – into the cafeteria room coughing quietly.

I frowned. Is she still feeling under the weather?

_She's fine Edward, don't worry. _Alice assured me in her head.

I sighed. If only I could read her mind!.

She strolled to the food line and choose her something to eat and walked to her and her friends table, but she stopped dead in her track looking at my direction , I heard her heart beat so fast , and I assumed that she was afraid of me , she must have saw how I reacted with her three days ago.

I sighed in desperation. I didn't want to frighten her, I really don't. I must apologize to her.

But I didn't saw any kind of fear in her angel like face. there was something I couldn't understand. it was … relief ?.

Why?

Is she relieved that I wasn't talking to her? Or it isn't about me at all?

I felt the tiniest bit of disappointment.

She got over her shock and strolled her way to her table, more clumsy then ever.

I laughed quietly at her clumsiness, although there wasn't any thing funny about it but the way she tribe on her own feet was just hilarious.

I turned my head in her direction and she was starting to eat her sandwich. I watched every move she was making, I suddenly found that very interesting.

She raised her head slowly to look at me, not knowing that I was staring at her all this time, her eyes widened when she met mine and the blush spread into her checks, given it a beautiful color. I was fascinated by the beauty she hold's that no one can see it really. Humans don't have a sharp sight to appreciate the angelic beauty in this world, but I can see perfectly the beauty she hold's from the out side and I can see from the pureness of her soul that she is beautiful from the inside as well.

I don't know what is this thing that attract me to her, it's like magnet, pulling me to her, I can feel it know , when I am feet's away from her I can feel the pull between us right now. I just wanted to touch her, to feel her worm skin and to feel how soft her skin is.

I was staring at her eyes. Which was still locked with mine, we never looked down. Both of us, I just couldn't look away from her brown chocolate orbs, it filled with so much emotion that I couldn't look away.

It was strange for me, because I've known this girl for just 4 days now – three days I wasn't even there – and I feel connected with her in some way, she brought something in me that was buried deep down, I didn't know that I even have it. It felt like I was a life. Filled with sunlight and rainbows. While before I met her and looked into those chocolate orbs, there was darkness all around, no colors what so ever. She made my world brighter, more colorful, somehow. And I am going to know her better and know every thought have crossed her mind.

But I was anxious that I would hurt her, or I won't be able to tolerate her smell.

I sighed and looked down, cutting our communication. I didn't want her to see the real monster that I am, and also I didn't want her to see how weak and helpless I am.

_What's wrong Edward? What got you so worry? _Jasper asked in his mind, he was worried about me, but he also found my situation a bit funny, because he was the one who had a hard time with blood all along. But now it's my turn as he said.

I just shock my head to him and tried not to look at her.

The bell ring, so I got up excited to talk to her and to look at her from a close distance.

The others were shocked to see my excitement. I've never been excited for any thing, ever.

I walked no, - jogged- to my next class and set in my chair, waiting for her.

She interred the class looking nervous and anxious and walked to take her seat next to me.

She set down slowly and stared at her lap avoiding my stares.

" Hello, my name is Edward Cullen, you must be Bella swan? " I greeted her quietly with a gentle smile on my face.

She turned her head to me and smiled softly and sighed , in relief ?

" Amm, yes " she answered simply and I just stared at her soft angelic smile, completely dazzled by it.

We just set there staring at each other's eyes, I felt like she was seeing right through my soul and I was seeing her pure one as well.

I felt a really strong emotion that I didn't recognize. it was so strong that it was crushing my chest really hard. It wasn't painful really!, it was more like … intense , very vivid.

I gasped, shocked at the intensity of this emotion.

Her heart was pounding so fast and the blush returned from earlier, making her more beautiful then she already is. A soft sigh escaped from her lips

Her hot sweet scent het me in the face and for the first time since I smelled her scent … I didn't want it.

Of course her scent was still the most mouthwatering and delicious scent I've ever smelt – and would ever smell-. But suddenly I didn't felt the need to suck her dry and enjoy the taste of her blood.

I know that it would kill me if I even hurt her, and that idea had given me an indescribable amount of pain and anguish.

I didn't notice that she was breathing heavy, and her lips were trembling slightly. Her hand was pressed tightly to her chest, like she wanted to silence some kind of pain there.

My eyes were drawn to her hand and the way she was grabbing her chest. My hand moved automatically to hers very slowly, I didn't know what I was doing really, but I felt the strong need to sooth her pain, I was so close of touching her hand and I was battling in my head, I shouldn't touch her, it's not safe for her, I mean … I might press on her fingers harder then I intend to and crush her delicate fingers, but that didn't stop my hand to approach hers, I wanted to touch her so badly, the desire was bigger then any thing I ever wanted in my whole existing. If my heart was still beating it will pound so wildly.

I was just inch's away from her hand when I heard the teacher calling my name to answer a question. I was so cut up in my own world with Bella that I didn't realize the class had started.

I blanked a few times to clear my head, and read the teacher's mind to know the answer, I turned my head unwillingly to the teacher " it's white fish plaster " I answered with a shaky voice from all the emotions I was feeling now.

When I turned my head back to her she was covering her face with her hair and her head was down, avoiding my stares I suppose.

I was a bit frustrated because she was hiding her beautiful face from me, and also I didn't hear her thoughts, to know what she felt when she was pressing her hand to her chest. Was she in pain? Or did she felt the electric jolt that had passed through us just now, like I did?.

I was staring at her in wonder, looking for the answers that I know were there but hiding somewhere, her checks were blushing a rosy red, lovely!.

I smiled dreamily. She was just too beautiful.

The bell ring declaring for the end of the class and I was nervous. I didn't know what to say. Shell I offer her a walk to her next class?, or just not say any thing at all?

I decided that I would talk to her. She was just grabbing her things. I cleared my throat so I can get her attention, she stopped what she was doing and turned her head in my direction, she seemed surprised that I didn't run away from her like the last time and she also looked embarrassed.

I smiled softly, carful not to show my teeth " Amm, I was wondering, may I walk you to your next class?" I asked her politely, praying that she would say yes.

Her blushing face looked shocked at first but she compassed her self quickly.

" ah, amm, sure?" she answered shyly.

I was sure that I had the biggest grin ever in my face. she said yes … to me, I was thrilled.

So we got up and headed to her class, which was gym.

I can sense that she was nervous so I decided that I would break the silent.

" it's too bad about the snow, huh ?" I tried to open a conversation that I heard this morning.

She grimaced.

" Not actually!" she said.

That took my full attention.

" You don't like the snow" I said with an eager expression on my face.

She shocked her head " No, I don't like any cold, wet, thing … I don't really …" she trilled off with a disgusted look on her face.

I laughed. she must really hate it in here.

" you must really hate forks then" I said, still laughing.

She blushed softly " you have no idea" she said with a shy voice.

I was lost for a second at her beautiful blush, I wanted to touch her check and feel how soft and worm she is.

How can this human fragile girl change my whole world?. Just by a single blush she had wormed my dead heart.

We were now in front of the gym's door and I was upset that I would leave her now, I wanted to be with her so badly, and we didn't have the time to talk.

She turned to me to say goodbye, but I didn't want to let her go, not now, not ever.

I saw sadness in her brown eyes that didn't suit her.

I stepped closer to her and stared at her eyes intensely. I wanted to know what's making her sad.

Her heart started to pound loudly and the lovely blush came back again to her checks.

I took a deep breath to calm me and tried to smile.

" I'll … see you later" I smiled sadly, but didn't move an inch, we were so close to each other that I can feel the warmth of her body, it was very smoothing.

" am, yes … s-sure." She stuttered, nervously, biting her lower lip.

That was distracting. I wanted no, I needed to smooth her lips with my thump. She just looked so adorable when she do that.

I smiled softly, and lean to her slowly, never cutting our connected eyes and pressed my lips lightly to her blushing check, enjoying the feeling of the heat on my lips.

I felt a fire running at the skin on my lips. It's like my lips were on fire.

When I pulled out, she was breathing heavy and her eyelashes were fluttering, and her mouth hang open in surprised.

"See you!" I said with a voice full of longing.

I smiled wildly and turned away from her unwillingly to go to my next class.

I wasn't late for class, lucky me.

But my head was swimming with the feeling of her soft worm skin upon my lips, suddenly I found my self, imagining the feeling of her lips against mine.

I shocked my head to clear it from those thoughts. What is wrong with me?

Why was thinking about her this way? She isn't my girlfriend!.. No she isn't.

The pain from this morning came back but much stronger now.

I was depressed.

I thought about her reaction when I kissed her check, I had to hold from laughter. she was just so adorable.

When my class was over I went straight to my car, waiting for Bella to show up.

Ok, I am not a stalker or any thing but I just wanted to see her one last time before she goes to her house.

I saw her walking to her car carefully, and then she looked around like she was looking for someone.

And when her eyes locked with mine, she blushed deep red and smiled softly.

I smiled back wildly, showing my teeth to her. I don't think that I ever smiled like that before.

Her eyelashes fluttered in surprise and shocked her head slightly.

I laughed at that, I think she was stunned.

She stumbled to her car, clumsier then normal.

I was worried about her, the streets were slippery and I was afraid that she would fall on her head or something.

Maybe I should give her a hand, because she seemed to straggle with her feet.

So I walked a bit fast and I was almost there when she started to fall. I grabbed her waist tightly but carefully not to crush her.

She was shocked to see me behind her, with my arms still wrapped around her waist.

The feeling of her body wrapped in my arms was incredible, I never wanted to let go of her, not even for a second.

I was overwhelmed by those feelings I had for this girl, that it took my breath away instantly. Her heavenly scent was surrounding my body and hitting my face over and over. She turned her body that was still wrapped in my arms and stared at my eyes.

" are you alright ?" I asked her, very worried about her.

" amm .. y-yes " she stuttered, stunned.

Relief washed over me instantly when I heard her smoothing voice.

" Good " I smiled wildly.

She raised an eyebrow in wonder but I just shocked my head, laughing at her.

" do you need some help?" I offered politely, pointing to her book bag.

" amm… no thanks , I think I can handle it " she smiled shyly and as always, blushed.

" Are you sure about that? " I teased her with a grin on my face.

She raised her eyebrow to me, and I just laughed quietly.

" Let me walk you to your track, we don't want you to get hurt do we?" I teased her with a big grin on my face.

Her eyes were on my face but it was distant, like she was thinking of something so hard. And I suddenly was curious about her thoughts.

" What are you thinking?" I asked her without thinking about it.

She was surprised with my question.

" Amm, I was thinking of … something" she answered, blushing a deep shadow of red, and lowered her head, hiding her gorgeous eyes from me.

She only made me more curious about her thoughts.

I put my finger under her chin and raised her head, so I can see her eyes.

She looked really embarrassed about what she is thinking, so I let it go but I made a mental note to ask her later.

" Ok!" I simply said.

I noticed that my arms were wrapped around her body softly and her hands were on my chest. I was stunned and I didn't want to let go but we were in a parking lot full of curious stares, like I could care less about them, but still, maybe she doesn't like to be hold by a stranger.

I unwrapped my arms slowly, and looked around, yes, every one was staring at us and I can hear them chatting and gossiping about us.

I turned back to her and she was blushing deeply, she tacked a lock of her hair behind her ear, embarrassed.

" May I walk you to your car?" I offered politely, smiling.

She nodded.

I walked beside her headed to her track. I noticed that she was deep in thoughts and I was curious again.

" What?" I asked her, trying to hid my curiosity as much as I could.

" you were gone!" she said with a depressed voice, not taking her eyes off the ground.

I had to think of that for a second.

" Amm, yeah I was out of town for a few days… personal reasons!" I said with a low voice, I was ashamed with my self truly.

We reached her car now, so she stopped and turned to me.

Her face showed concern, and a hint of sadness " is everything ok?" she asked with a concerned voice.

I was really touched by her concern about me, I smiled softly and answered " yes, thank you for your concern!".

She blushed softly and smiled shyly.

I opened her door for her and stepped out a bit.

" Thanks " she said blushing again and got in her truck.

" your welcome" I replay, smiling gently.

I closed her door with a heavy heart.

" so … I'm going to see you tomorrow, right?" she asked shyly.

" yes, why would I not?" _why would I want to waste anytime with you?._

I smiled smugly and she blushed again.

" be careful, alright, the streets are really slippery" I warned her, I was really worried about her safety, and this truck couldn't smooth my worries, I would ask Alice to keep an eye on her future.

She smiled warmly and nodded.

Her smile was just so beautiful that I couldn't help but to smile back, just as warmly.

I didn't want to let her go, I just wanted to take her away from every body and shield her away from all the world but me. But I have to let her go, who was I to take her away from all the people she loved.

So I stepped away from the car so she can go.

We stared at each other for a long moment, baring our souls to each other.

Finally, she lowered her head with a heavy sigh and started the engine.

She smiled to me a final one and started to move.

I walked back to my car, looking behind my shoulder every once and a while.

My siblings were waiting for me with a shocked expression on their faces, except Alice of course who had a big grin on her face.

"What?" I asked with a carefree smile, I really didn't care what they think of me.

My smile had just made their jaws drop to the floor with shock.

I laughed out loud at their expressions. that was just hilarious.

I got in my car and started the engine waiting for my siblings to get over their shock.

Alice was the first to get in the car with a known look in her face.

_Edward, I see her in your future everywhere, she's nice, isn't she?_ Alice said in her mind.

I smiled dreamily, thinking about her beautiful face, and her soft magical blush.

" That's the least you can say about her" I whispered softly.

My day dreaming was interrupted with Rosalie's angry shouting's.

" What the hell was that? Why were you talking to that stupid human girl, huh?" she shouted loudly.

I growled at her, how dear she call Bella, stupid!.

" DON'T CALL HER THAT!" I shout back at her with anger boiling up in my body, I felt the need to tear her to pieces and throw her head down the ocean.

" Edward calm down, and you Rosalie stop that, we are still in the parking lot, remember?" jasper tried to calm us both with his ability.

It helped a bit but I was still furious with Rosalie, she was just jealous as always.

I took a deep breath to calm me and turned back to the steering wheel and drove fast to our house, thinking about how she felt against my body, my arms wrapped around her, my lips on her soft creamy skin.

My happy mood quickly returned when I thought of my angel's face.

AN: **so this is it, i hoooooope you like it. and the annoying tanya will appear in the next or the 5th chapter. and she would be ANNOYING, she would kill Edward and Bella with her jealousy, so what do you want me to do with her, shell i kill her and get over with her, i just hate her. and also jacob would appear at the next chapters but don't worry he won't be close to bella what so ever.. actually he is going to be a bit jerk, my story is NOT for jecob's fans, so ... i hope i don't offend you, gays. so tell me any thing you want me to add to the story and i will do as much as i can, and again if there is any flaws in my grammar or spelling.**


	4. The Strong Attraction

Hi everyone, i'v been dazzled by the comments that you left me. and i'm really happy about it. you gave me a motivate to complete this story. Don't get me wrong i will finish it either way but i was planning to work on my second novel "Dreaming of your love" and then come back to this one but after i saw the comments i just couldn't wait to write this chapter. thank you guys so much for your support, your the only ones in this world supporting me.. not even my friends give a shit about what i do. even though i did horrible in the spilling and stuff but you never stopped reading what i write. thank you.

**Disclaimer:** I DON'T OWN TWIGHT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS.

this chapter will be from Edwards POV only. because i wanted to keep things a mystery a bit.

* * *

_**~ The Strong Attraction ~**_

(EDWARD):

As I was speeding through the streets, I was hit by a magnificent feeling. I 'v never felt anything like that ever in my life. It was strong, intense. I almost couldn't take it, I remembered feeling this when I touched her skin and held her in my arms, but now it was much, much powerful. _What have you done to me, angel? _I wanted to ask her so badly. There was an ache and soreness in my chest and I couldn't bear it any more, it was draining me slowly, torturing me to no end. I gasped loudly and covered my aching chest with one of my hands, grabbing a handful of fabric in my vest tightly.

I stopped my car at the side of the road because I was shacking terribly and I didn't want to lose control on the car.

" Edward, what's wrong?" Alice asked with a hint of concern in her voice.

At the same time jasper gasped and moaned with pain, grabbing his chest tightly.

He was feeling what I was feeling and he couldn't take so much pain as I was feeling. He tried to send me a calming wave but he couldn't, he was trying to calm himself first.

" Edward, try to calm down. I can't take this!" he was breathing heavily and lowered his head tiredly.

" What's going on?" Emmett asked, raising his eyebrow in wonder.

I was panicking. I felt emotions that I never felt before, most of them I didn't recognize. There was ache, sorrow, attraction, need, a lot of it And pain. But I know that it was all for her, Bella.

I was interrupted by Alice's vision. There she was. the angel who caused all this pain set in her truck, I smiled. And the pain I was feeling had lessened a bit.

My smile dropped when I saw her pained face. She was cuffing repeatedly and harshly.

I gasped, loudly.

That caused me an indescribable amount of pain. My angel was in pain and I wasn't there to comfort her. I growled loudly and I almost took the car door with me in my way out. I didn't think, I couldn't. I just needed.

I know now what I needed, and it was her. I ran as fast as I could to be with her and I thought I couldn't run any faster.

I ran to her house but in the middle of the road I saw her truck parked at the side of the road, I moved faster until I reached her. I opened her door and I took her in my arms without even thinking.

She gasped, surprised with my presents, but also relief showing on her face.

She was sobbing so hard " Ed-w-ward?!" she stuttered breathlessly.

Suddenly all the pain and anguish I was feeling, perished. And in its place felled with kindness, tenderness, relieved, and…. Love?

I couldn't think about that. Not right now when she was wrapped safely in my arms.

I dropped my head on her shoulder feeling something I couldn't quit recognize, but I just loved it and I didn't want to ever let go.

She was slowly calming in my arms so I didn't say anything, Just stroking her back, and rocking her gently.

The feeling of her body wrapped in my arms was remarkable. I wanted to have her near my frozen heart forever, never letting go.

When she finally calmed, she raised her head to look at me with a lovely blush in her checks.

I smiled softly, relieved that this pain was over for the both of us.

"I'm s-sorry, I don't know what come over me" her voice was thick with her tears. She shocked her head, embarrassed. That is absurd she shouldn't be shy with me.

But her blush was so lovely that I was thinking to make her embarrassed more often.

I laughed. She was just too adorable.

" There is nothing to be sorry about. Are you alright?" I asked her, worried about her, I stroked her hair softly to relax her further.

" Yes, I'm… fine now!" she said nervously. That little answer had comforted me a lot.

I smiled. Relieved to be near her now.

We stared at each other's eyes in awe, baring our souls to each other. Suddenly I was worried. What if she saw the real monster that I am? What if she saw the dark side of me?.

Her goes my happy mood!

She would definitely run away from me. What would happen to me if she did? I would definitely die.

I noticed that she wasn't breathing anymore, so I stroked her blushing cheek with my thumb softly " breath, Bella!" I said, worried about her. She finally realized that she was holding her breath, and she sucked a big amount of air to her lungs. I chuckled quietly. She was silly, but I suppose that's why she's charming.

She bit her lower lip nervously and I thought she couldn't be anymore flushed.

She cleared her throat but followed with a hard cough. I frowned, she must be cold!. I crossed her back in smoothing circles.

"Are you alright?" I asked, checking her face for any sing of pain or discomfort.

"Yeah, I am totally fine!" she smiled slightly and lowered her eyes to the ground. I saw something flash in her soft brown eyes. Sadness? Why would she be sad?

I was frustrated about her blanked mind, I found myself trying hard to enter her strange mind but with no use. I sighed.

She straightened her back so she was facing the road. I missed the contact instantly, my body felt colder then usual without her worm touch.

I know she is confused about why I am here and how did I know that she was here. But How could I explain that to her?.

That my sister had some kind of freak vision's in her head? Yeah that would comfort her for sure.

" What just happened?" she asked me, confused, her eyes were still at the road.

" What do you mean?" I asked, more confused about her question.

" I mean, …. Amm this, I … " she blushed forcefully and dropped her eyes to her lap.

" You were gone and I … I felt … pain" she said with a deep sigh, and frowned.

I didn't say anything.

I just listened to her describing the exact same pain that I felt when I was away from her.

She felt it.

And I was shocked about that as hell, and very much angry.

I didn't want her to feel any kind of pain even the slightest, because she was too precious for that.

Her face showed embarrassment when she talked.

" And, when you were … beside me …" she shocked her head in disbelieve and continued " it was.. all of it .. all the pain.. just… gone!" she finally said with a straggle but sighed when she finished.

Could that really happened? Could she feel the way I did when I was away from her? And more importantly, what does all that mean?

I sighed, and took her hand in mine, craving for her touch. I didn't miss how her heart was pounding forcefully.

" I felt that to!. I didn't know what it was but… I needed to be near you immediately" I confessed shyly for this fragile human who had so much power over me.

She stared at me with wonder in her eyes and I stared back with the same wonder like we would find the answer in each other's eyes.

I got lost in her deep brown eyes, swimming in them. I saw how deep her eyes were, and sighed.

I felt this powerful pull from her body. It's was like magnet, pulling me closer and closer to her.

Her heart was pounding in a crazed rhythm, and her hand tightened around mine.

I didn't think, I just pulled her back to my arms slowly, never tearing my eyes away from hers.

I held her carefully in my arms. Her face was inches away from mine, and our gaze locked together.

Her eyelashes fluttered in surprise and the lovely blush returned to her cheeks.

"I don't know what is happening to us, but…. I sure don't want it to change" I breathed, without thinking in a low voice, not sure if I wanted her to hear that.

It was way dangerous for.

Her mouth was open slightly, and her sweet breath blow directly into my face, And I was distracted by her soft, pink, pouty lips.

I had this huge urge to close this inch's and press my lips to hers.

I shock my head immediately. _ No, you stupid vampire. You will hurt her._

She noticed my move and raised her eyebrow, confused.

The words were going to flow out of my mouth but I bit my tongue, afraid that I would scare her with my words.

What would I tell her?. That she was wrapped in the arms of a vampire?

She would surly pass out.

I opened my mouth and close it again, not finding the right words to say.

If any vampire would see me right now, he would think that I had lost my mind.

I would be the first vampire that ever stuttered when he spoke!

She gave up and lowered her head slowly and rest it on my chest.

I exhaled all the air in my lungs that I was holding and buried my nose in her hair.

_Oh, _that heavenly scent!.

Surrounding my head and paralyze my senses.

I held her tighter to me, afraid that she would be snatched away from my arms.

She moaned tenderly and then sighed.

I played with her silky hair between my fingers, loving the feeling of the softness on them.

Am I dreaming? Was that a way from God to punish me for my sins?

Because it's would surly devastate me when I wake up from this beautiful, beautiful dream.

"I don't understand!" she whispered, with a frustrated voice, shacking her head.

I frowned. What does she mean?

" What is it that you don't understand?" I asked her, still playing with a lack of her hair.

She moved slightly to look in my eyes.

" This. I mean… " She blushed softly and dropped her eyes to her hand that was still on my chest " I only know you for just … a day!" she looked really confused.

I chuckled softly.

" I know!" I smiled lightly and tucked a small lack of her hair behind her ear.

I noticed that it was getting late out here. I frowned.

I didn't want to leave her. I didn't want to be without her… ever.

But she had to go.

So I kissed the top of her head tenderly, but my lips wanted to stay near her forever.

I took a deep breath, felled with her heavenly scent one last breath before I released her.

" Its getting dark out here, you should head home" I smiled sadly, staring at her lovely eyes.

Her eyes widened with horror, and her heartbeats increased. She looked very pale.

" Shhh, its ok. Calm down sweetheart" I shushed her quietly, and wrapped her arms in smoothing circles to comfort her.

She shut her eyes tightly and opened them again.

" Stay!" she whispered in a weak voice.

I crumbled. I would do any thing she asks me to do, and gladly.

I realized what she had done to me without even knowing it. She had stalling my heart and claimed it as hers. Put a spill on me that last forever.

I know in that moment that she will always have me, for all eternity.

That no matter what she would do to me… I will always be hers, she will always own my heart.

She had destroyed me for good, no turning back.

_And oh, how I loved this destruction._

I nodded my head silently, dazzled still.

Her face light up, and a beautiful smile spread on her face.

I smiled back, automatically.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her face into the crock of my neck.

Her lips were so close to the spot behind my ear and her breath were making me shiver with bless.

"Thank you" she breathed against my ear softly.

I closed my eyes tightly and sighed happily.

"We should talk… get to know each other more" I said, anxious and a little bit too eager to get to know this girl and the secrets that is hiding beneath her.

The least that you can say about her is interesting. I could tell that she has her own way of seeing things, and she was just different from other people around her, she was unique!.

She nodded her head silently, but didn't move one inch from our embrace.

I smiled, happily.

I didn't want to loss the feeling of the electric current that passed through me whenever we touched or just simply be near each other. But my curiosity got the best of me. I wanted to know everything about her, everything.

"So… shell we continue this conversion in a more suitable place?" I offered in soft voice.

She suddenly realized that we were still in her truck, at the side of the road, half way to her house.

Her cheeks were flushed a rosy red with embarrassment.

She chuckled quietly "Yeah, let's go to my house. Charlie wont be home until 6" she said smiling softly.

I got a little nervous.

Would she ask me about what happened between us earlier?

Because I'm also wondering about what could it be. I can't give her any answers yet.

Maybe Carlisle will figure this out, I'm sure he will be delighted to have something new and interesting to research about.

The feeling's I had earlier __and clearly Bella felt it too-_, _weren't something we'd felt before or even known about. I 'v never heard of something like this happening to any body before, human or vampire.

She leaned her back against the back seat and sighed loudly.

"I will drive" she said suddenly, and raised her self out of her seat to start the engine.

"No, your not" I protested, taking her hand out of the steering wheel.

She blinked a few times, surprised by my action.

I smiled softly. She looked so adorable with her eyes wide open with surprise and her beautiful plump lips forming a slit O.

"What?" I teased. "I'm not letting you drive while you are in this condition" I smiled smugly.

Her eyes widened for a second before she had a blank expression on her face.

"Condition? What's wrong with my condition?" she stuttered nervously. Her face was paler then the usual.

My smile faded, and in its place was a concerned frown.

I caressed her cheek lightly with my fingertips "Are you alright?" I asked, afraid that she might be in pain or uncomfortable.

"Yes, I am fine" she cleared her throat uncomfortably, and turned her face to the road ahead of her.

I stared at her for a long moment, trying to figure out what's wrong with her. And why was she lying to me? I know she is.

She was hiding something…

She turned her head and looked at me with a slight smile one her angelic face.

"Aren't you going to drive? Or, have you changed your mind?" she said teasingly, with one eyebrow arched up.

I blinked a few times to get over the haze that came over me, but never forgetting the hint of panic in her eyes when I teased her about her dazed condition, I was only joking with her.

"Ammm, yes… I mean.. No I didn't change my mind. I'm driving" I said, smiling slightly. The matter was temporarily forgotten.

I started the engine, almost flinching when I heard the angry growling of the it.

I speeded through the streets, anxious to know every little detail about this beautiful angel beside me.

I took her hand in mine and intertwine her delicate fingers with mine.

She squeezed my fingers gently and I saw her smile slightly from the corner of my eye.

_Sigh_, Truly an Angel.

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**So this is the chapter, are you interested about their little talk? Bella will meet Edward family at the next chapter and guess who would show up?! **

**Oh, and their attraction to each other will only grow, and Bella is starting to doubt Edward's normalcy, she's smart and she will figure this out by some small help. as well as Edward, but he won't find out until way after. **

**this is sort of a preview, make you excited. i'm evil hhhhhhh**. **please review, review, review**

**oh, and you can check out my other story** "Dreaming of your love" it's about what if Bella was Adele?, **romance of course.**

**and i am writhing a one shot about the first twiligh**t " what if Bella had gone with Edward instead of Alice when they were running from Jams, romance, tenderness" VERY SOON.!


	5. I need more time, God!

hello, guys. this is the fifth chapter. and thank you thank you thank for those who reviewed to my last chapter. i'm really grateful.

this chap is not very long because i'm a little under the weather and this is what i managed. so please enjoy!

**disclaimer:** i don't own twilight or any characters.

* * *

I need more time, God!

**Chapter 5 (Bella):**

We drove to my house in a comfortable silence, Edward's arm was around my waist and his other hand was on the steering wheel.

There was a frown on his face and I knew that he was thinking deeply about something. I was too curious about his thoughts.

Is he thinking about me? About this weird situation that we are in?. not that I object or anything. I know that I cant be without him again, and it felt weird that all of the sudden, I cant be without him even for a second. How can we do this? I mean, we cant be together all the time, Charlie would freak out if he saw Edward in his house. He knew that I wasn't here long enough to have a boyfriend. Wait! What's wrong with me, Edward didn't say anything about us being together, we weren't in a relationship, I think.

What are we, then?. I thought as I embraced the feeling of his arm around me.

I guess that we will find out soon.

I leaned in automatically and rested my forehead against his chest, smelling his all too sweet scent, lavender mixed with jasmine, it was cold, beautiful… and dark.

I moaned softly without thinking.

When I realized what I just did, my face blushed ten shads of red.

Oh my god, he will think I'm creepy now.

But he didn't say anything. Instead, he tightened his arm around around me and kissed the top of my head tenderly. I was still embarrassed and my face still flushed.

I turned my head so that the side of my face was resting on his chest instead. My breath catches in my throat and my eyes grown ten times wider.

Did I hear correctly?

I listened closely; there must be something wrong with my ears. Or my mind is playing tricks on me.

I put my hand on against his heart; to feel any beat… but there was none.

I gulped.

That cant be possible, if he has no beat, then he wouldn't be walking right now. He would be dead.

I'm going crazy for sure.

I was so catch up in my thoughts that I didn't notice the car comes to a stop in front of my house.

His hand wrapped around mine a bit tightly, surprising me, and making me jump a bit.

I looked up and met with his very agonized eyes.

My chest tightened when I saw the pain in his eyes. My eyes watered. I just wanted his pain to go away, even if it meant that his pain would transfer to me just so it goes away, I would take it gladly.

I touched his cheek tenderly, trying to smooth his pain away. My earlier worries momentary forgotten.

"I know that you are thinking a lot of things in your mind, and… I know that … that you are very confused right now,… I-I really didn't want you to find out this way but…" he closed his eyes tightly then opened them again. The pain was still there and I know that he was trying vey hard to hide it from me.

"I will explain everything to you and… and your free to do whatever you want" he continued with a nervous stutter.

I grabbed a fistful of the fabric of his shirt in my hand, which was still rested on his hard chest and looked dead into his eyes "What is it?" I asked, my voice was wavering a bit. He held my hand in his. His skin was colder then usual, but his skin was still smoother then silk.

"I will tell you. if you want to know the truth, of course." He reassured.

I smiled softly "I trust you" I said firmly.

His eyes fluttered in surprise before they soften. He nodded and then opened the car door.

We got out and walked straight to the front door, holding hands firmly.

The electricity was buzzing between us and his touch was making my skin tingle.

I knew that Edward wasn't normal. I have known this from the moment I led eyes on him. His pale skin, his golden eyes, his hard cold skin when I touched him just now, it all says that he was the furthest thing from normal. Hick, I wasn't normal my self. I was some freaky human shield that had the ability to block a fife hundred pound bear from eating me alive. If that wasn't freaky, I don't know what is.

I opened the front door with the spear key that Charlie gave me when I first moved here and walked inside with Edward still holding my other hand tightly in his.

I felt a tiny bit of satisfaction, knowing that he couldn't let go of my hand even when I was opening the door.

When we were in, I went straight to the living room and sat down with Edward right beside me.

I turned to face him with a sigh. "So?"

"Would you like something to drink first?" I offered politely, with a genuine smile.

He blinked several times before he lowered his eyes to my lips for a second, just staring at them intensely with some strange emotion in his eyes…. Longing, perhaps?

What ever that stare was, it made my insides tingle and my lips to go numb.

He gulped before he returned his stare to my eyes "No… thank you" he stuttered and then cleared his throat loudly.

I smiled at his stuttering, it was kind of wired to see this god like creature stumbling upon his words, but in the same time it was kind of funny.

He stayed silent for a couple of minutes before lowering his eyes to our joined hands with a desperate sigh.

I know that what ever it was that he had to tell me… it was big, and that it was clearly hard for him to confess. So I gave him all the time he need to be ready without pushing for some answers.

"Ok, what am I about to tell you would sound crazy and pretty unbelievable, but please… I would like you to hear me until the end, and then your free to do whatever you want with me, are you ok with that?" he asked with a slightly trembling voice. I nodded without any hesitation, and I told him for the second time today "I trust you!"

I did trust him, with every fiber in my body. Don't ask me how; because I don't know the answer my self. I just know that I can trust him with my life… from the very moment when our eyes met… I felt that what was happening to us was … a natural, something that should have happened long time ago.

Dare I say that I … love him?

No, I cant let my self think like that, it's not fair to him if I loved him, I'm sick! Way too sick.

I really can't explain how I felt about him… my emotions were a jumble and so mixed up. I felt very protective of him, and so very possessive, and I want him to be near me all the time.

So he began to explain to me with a very nervous voice, lowering his eyes in some parts and looking at mine in others, to see my reaction to his words.

I couldn't move even if I wanted to, I was frozen in place; he was saying something impossible, unbelievable, but then again, my story was not so far from the impossible.

A Vampire?!

Is it possible?

I thought about his unbeaten heart under my hand just a few minutes ago in the car, and his overly cold skin, his paleness, his inhuman beauty.

I stared at his eyes for a very long time, trying to process what he just told me. I was in my own world of thoughts that I didn't notice Edward's worried voice calling me

"Bella?... Bella, please talk to me!" he touched my cheek tenderly.

I blinked several times to clear my head and turned my eyes to his.

"Yes?"

"Are you alright?" he asked with a worried tune.

"Yes, I'm perfect" I smiled reassuringly, keeping my face calm.

He stared at my face for a long time, searching for something that I know he wouldn't find.

As crazy as it seemed… I believed him. I just knew he wasn't lying. I could see it in his eyes; they were begging me to believe him. And I do.

"Why are you smiling? I just told you that I'm not human, that I am a monster, why aren't you running away from me screaming your heads off" he said, shock was all over his face.

I frowned. Why would I runaway from him? I never felt safer in my life then in his arms. He had to know that.

"Why would I runaway?" I shook my head, confused.

"Because I just told you that I was a vampire, a monster, a killer. You should freak out" he almost shouted.

Anger was rising in my chest at his words.

"You are not a killer, and definitely not a monster." I shouted, firmly.

How can he see himself as a monster, he was the furthest thing from a monster. I can see how pure his soul is, whenever I look at his deep, topaz eyes. Something you don't see very often in other people's eyes.

I looked straight into his beautiful eyes, seeing sadness and true agony. I wanted to make him forget about it.

I took a deep breath to calm down and touched his cheek softly.

"I know you think I should be scared of you but I'm not. I do believe every word you said!" I said in a calm, steady voice.

"How can you not be scared of me … I could kill you Bella. So easily" he said angrily.

"But you won't. You could… but you don't want to so, you won't hurt me" I explained with a soft smile

"It might not work that way, Bella"

"It might…"

He stared into my eyes for a very long time, looking for something, but after what seemed a very long time, he sighed.

"So, your not afraid of me" he asked, with doubt in his eyes.

I smiled "Edward!… you make me feel safe, protected, and I've never felt safe as much as I do with you" I said firmly, trying to take away any doubt he had left inside his head.

He sighed, defeat. " You're unbelievable" he shook his head from side to side.

He touched my hand that was still resting against his cheek and pressed softly on it.

He moaned

"You're so worm and soft… it's nice" he whispered tenderly. His voice was smoother then silk.

It sooth's your heart and soul.

My heart was beating furiously; his touch was very caring and soft and it made my senses heighten.

"I feel like I'm dreaming… and any second now I would wake up… of course that's impossible but…" he breathed against my hand with a quite laugh.

I smiled slightly "Do you want me to pinch you?" I asked teasingly.

He chuckled softly "I think you would hurt your fingers in the process"

I didn't say anything, I just kept staring at his beautiful face, his lips, his nose, his eyelashes… everything about him mesmerize me, he was beautiful … not just from the outside, but also from the inside as well.

Yes, I do love him. I had fell for him… deeply, and unconditionally as well. There was no way out of it.

My heart soured, as if someone stabbed me with a knife.

I want to love him forever, and I want to fully give my self to him, but there isn't much to give. Why would he want a sick, plain girl that has very few months to live? He deserve so much better… he deserves everything. I want to love him … so much.

I closed my tearful eyes tightly, praying for the heavens above.

I just need more time… Please God, I need more time!

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so this is it, i hope from the bottom of my heart that you enjoyed. **"Do you think that i will kill Bella at the end of the story?".** tell me what you think please.

oh and i have a preview for you. excited?!

**_Preview_**

_i was looking around at the paintings at Carlisle's study while Edward was bringing me some water, when i heard soft hushed whispers just outside of the door_

_"that stupid human girl is going to be the death of us all, and you know it Emmett. that thing has to die or we're gonna be in great danger. i don't want a pathetic human to disturb my peace" a harsh but beautiful voice said. it was barely even a whisper._

_and i assumed that voice belongs to Rosalie._

_my chest ache's and my eyes began to water. i wanted to tell her that i wasn't a danger to her or her family, that my time at this earth was short, but before i had the chance to say it a loud, angry growl erupted through the wall._

review please.


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